Sports! Lots and lots of Sports!

Jose Canseco wants to box? Big Brown had a bad pedicure? Penguins on ice? The clay courts in France still have Americans serving? Umps with thumbs in their butts? The Red Sox admitted to illegal taping as well!!! Well the last one is fable...just wanted to remind you of a little cheating 18-1 football team that started a new year of failing miserably... all that and more after the jump.

Western Conference Finals...Kobe proved he's only human and scored 30 points...but the rest of team didn't follow suit. The Pistons evened up the Eastern Conference matchup with The Celtics at two games a piece. Kevin Garnett scored less than 1/2 a point per minute played...so not Kobean...Go Lakers!!! Go Pistons!!! Well I really wanna see Lakers and Celtics Final...but wanna see them go 7 before they see The Lakers...and then lose like Boston is destined to do in '08!!!

On the Ice: The Red Wings took a decisive lead in The Stanley Cup finals going up two games to none against The Penguins...guess it's tough to swing a hockey stick with little penguin wings...well unless they're red...red penguins...never heard of that nonsense before.

On the Baseball Diamond: Umps continued to blow Home Run call after Home Run Call from the Bronx to Pittsburgh and beyond…will we see instant replay at the ballpark starting in ’09…we will see…yeah we’ll see even longer games and umps trying to fit their heads in the camera hood with their masks still on. NO INSTANT REPLAY PLEASE…Umps just need to get their thumbs outta their butts.

The French Open started this week…but you won’t hear a word about it until it get’s close to the finals…because a. I don’t’ give a rats ass about tennis and b. tennis has been dead to me since Agassi hung ‘em up.

On the PGA the “Tiger’s not on the links” trophy grab continued with Phil Michelson winning the Colonial by one stroke. Win ‘em while you can boys…win ‘em while you can.

Oh…and Jose Canseco is offering $5500 for someone to step into the boxing ring with him in Atlantic City…boxing Jose??? Well I bet Roger Clemens would come outta retirement to take a few swings at you. Or perhaps Jose should quit being a pussy and get into the ring for some mixed martial arts...arm bar bitch!!!
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